In all Honesty a lot of things have been changing my life. I suppose this is as good a time as any to talk about them. I've definately been in a state of dissaray so I suppose that's the reason for all the projects I've been submitting. But theres more too it. My relationships with people have been building, crashing, rebuilding and inbetween it all I'm trying to go to college and work on somthing that is going to help me in the future.

I never expected that weaving in and out of emotions with people would be so hard. I knew that it would be difficult mind you, but not this difficult. I've hurt special people in my life to get what I know I need for myself right now. I suppose I'm just beginning to get acquainted with the things I will do when it comes to self betterment.

I expected to feel remorse for all that I've done but oddly I'm calm inside. The storm rages outside my mind but in here where it counts I'm calm. I don't feel sorry for the things I've done. Some things I've said maybe but not the things I've done. I strive on trying to tell the truth but when It comes to the people you love you'd be suprised at the lies that spill from the most faithful of lips.

I suppose thats enough said. For those of you out there who know me then the meaning of this journal should do nothing but refresh your memory. No don't call me and ask me about it because I'm not going to give you anymore than what i've been giving you. This is it. I suppose I'll end this with. I'm still me, It's just I know what I need to do to get what I need and want done.